Parents Who Practice Overindulgent Negligence

Bullying is often a behavior created by parents who teach entitlement to their chidlren. The entitled child is one who has inflated sense of self and feels he or she should get without giving and receive rewards without earning them. Typical behaviors of an entitled child is not taking turns and impatience. They tend to put themselves first and show limited compassion or sensitivity to others.  They see the world revolving around them and their needs. They have a temper tantrum when they don’t get what they want.  Unfortunately many parents reinforce a child’s demanding behaviors to stop the chaos and conflict they create to manipulate and get their way.

“Give me” is their mantra. You will also often hear, “I want.”  They use the word “I” too often and rarely use the word “we.” “Please” and “thank you” do not seem to be in their vocabulary.

Compassion is a learned behavior.  If you have an entitled child it is because you created one!  When you ask yourself “who is in charge here,” what is your answer?  Wimpy parents who don’t communicate clear expectations and set boundaries that are enforced are rewarding the behaviors that haunt them. What appears to be cute and clever as a young child becomes a real challenge in later years.

The entitled child is a result of overindulgent negligence.  Many parents are under the illusion that if they can afford to buy things and endlessly shower their children with

material treasures they are good providers. The fact is that they are not only spoiling their child, but depriving them of the lessons of life, the value of struggle, and what it means to earn and work for what you get. Parents needs to also see themselves as teachers and coaches who give guidance and encouragement, rather than people who must serve and provide. Offer your child the opportunity to get that good feeling you from “giving,” and to learn that to get, you must first give.

Entitlement is becoming a serious social problem as the “me” syndrome tends to be contagious and sabotages our greatest support system – a sense of community. While love nourishes a child, discipline builds strength and character to foster independence, competence and belief in oneself. Now, why would you ever deprive your child of the

opportunity to explore and develop the experience of being fully human.

Edie Raether, MS, CSP is an international speaker, parenting coach and bestselling author of several books including Stop Bullying Now and the empowering children’s character building program I Believe I Can Fly!. A behavioral psychology expert and family therapist, Edie has also been a college professor and talk show host with ABC. Visit Edie at www.wingsforwishes.com and stopbullyingwithedie.com. Contact her at edie@raether.com or (704) 658-8997.

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